Wednesday 11 August 2010

Carling - Taste Lock Can

Carling [current - the archive isn't too good; sorry] have found something 'new' to sell their brand of fizzy alcoholic drink.

The "Taste Lock Can" (this image is a collage from selecting points 1, 2 and 3 on the can):



Without wanting to sound too geeky[1], everyone at Carling is really excited[2] about our new Taste Lock Can, so we’d like to take a minute to tell you why!

(1) Improved seam:
Our improved seam around the top of the can gives ultimate protection[3] for the beer inside[4], locking-in the great taste[5] of Carling and preventing it from developing a 'tinny' taste.[6]

(2) 2 stage 'in-can' liner:
The two stage in-can liner covers the inside of the can to protect the beer from the metal of the can itself[4][7], ensuring that the great taste[5] of Carling isn't affected by any 'tinny' flavours.

(3) New, improved cold indicator:
The new cold indicator (in the shape of a padlock) uses innovative[8] Theromochromic ink to turn blue when the beer inside is at the perfect temperature for you to enjoy. Simply put the cans in your fridge and you can tell when it's ready to drink by checking that the padlock has turned blue. Perfect cold Carling[9] - every time!
[1] Nothing geeky about this at all

[2] Maybe everyone in the marketing department might be, but I suspect that's about it. I'm not sure that the factory workers on the shop floor are ecstatic about this new marketing ploy.

[3] This bit wouldn't be lost in a condom commercial.

[4] Which raises the question: what on earth have they been using up until now? Sub-optimal seams? Leaky seams? Bare metal?

[5] As anyone who drinks more than just cheap/mass produced lager will know, this is debatable. Also, see [9].

[6] One wonders how they're preventing the 'tinny' taste from the opening when the lager is poured out of the can (or, as most chav's drink it, straight out of the can.)

[7] I do believe that this is a legal requirement. Certainly it is a physical requirement. For instance baked bean tins must have an interior coating (usually some sort of plastic - of which there has been some controversy) to stop the acid in the sauce reacting with the tin coating of the can itself. Carbonated drinks (like cola, and fizzy lager) are also acidic.

[8] Thermochromic ink's may have been "innovative" back in the 1970's when they were first discovered. Or in the late 1980's when they were used on T-shirts, Or maybe as late as 2002 when Newcastle Breweries stuck a star on bottles of their Newcastle Brown Ale that turned blue at the 'correct' temperature (12°C.) But in 2010, from Carling? Hardly.

[9] As most drinkers of more than just the cheapest larger will attest, the colder the drink you're drinking, the less taste it has. Some have even postulated, that the reason mainstream lagers, in general, are served so cold (4°C or below) is so that you can't taste them.

4 comments:

  1. I think it's mostly bollocks too - Why don't you lodge a formal complaint with the ASA? or Trading Standards?

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  2. ASA? Trading Standards? Bah!

    What's the point? Both are toothless. By the time they've investigated, the advertising campaign will be over and replaced with the next one.

    Meanwhile ASA/TS will investigate, conclude the advertisements revolving around this are not misleading, and the resultant adjudication (even if it's not in the advertiser's favour) may make it into the MSM giving more [1] air-time [2] to this drivel.

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  3. The question is... why are the carling advertisers even bothering with this pseudo-scientific baloney? Those who drink Carling wish only to be tipsy and enjoy each other's company, and those with the education and money to possibly benefit from this campaign either prefer "real" beer or are simply looking at value for money - should a marketing lackey from said company stumble across these comments, I have a few choice words - KNOW YOUR F*CKING DEMOGRAPHIC.

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  4. "The question is... why are the carling advertisers even bothering with this pseudo-scientific baloney?"

    Because, despite the crassness of it, it does actually work. You think they throw money at this sort of thing without ensuring that it did?

    Believe it or not, there are gullible marks out there that swallow this crap hook, line and sinker.

    "KNOW YOUR FUCKING DEMOGRAPHIC."

    Oh, they do. They do. You and I aren't in that demographic however.

    I only buy the stuff because it's either
    1) cheap in the supermarket or
    2) it's the best of a bad bunch in the pubs that don't sell real beer.

    ReplyDelete